Personal eruption

Recently have been feeling really down and tired. It seems like every month starting from march, i have been regularly reporting to hospital. First my daughter fell and have to rush to hospital for stitches, then my son running high fever rushing to hospital in the morning at 5am+, followed by daughter fits and high fever rushing to hospital at 4am+ and hospitalised for four days dialogues with urine infection. Currently, still on medication next came another news.

My dearest grandma had a fall and was hospitalised, i had to quickly finish the housework settle my 2 kids and rush to hospital again. Through the phone my uncle sound normal, so i thought it was a minor fall. But when i arrive at the hospital, my heart sank. My poor grandma got a big bao on the forehead all the way to her eyes and it was quite swollen and her nose was stain with dry blood. Her both hand was also swollen and she look so much in pain. I could not describe how i felt at that very moment, on the surface i do look and sound very normal. ( but deep inside me was very worry) I'm the type of person who do not know how to express myself. So people might think that i do not care or even think that i am heartless.

I blame myself for being so fussy, if only i can accept a maid and keep my eyes shut; allowing them to do what they like. Then my life could be alot easier and have more time to look after my grandma. I really hope to take care of her or stay by her side to help her. She was like a mother to me, she was the one who bought me up taking good care of me when i am sick and pull me back when i goes on the wrong path. But now she's so old and alone, i cannot do my part at all. I offered her to stay with me, but she rejected. She stay in town area, whereas i stay so far away mountain side Haa!

I am now a full time stay at home housewife and have lost all my friends. I have no one to pour my woes, so i spent my time baking and baking to distress. But it seems that i have lost all those passion in baking recently. I have to drag myself to bake and recently all my bake flung. Luckily, the cakes are still edible, but all crack or slightly drier then usual ( i am a perfectionist type of person, so i became more impatient). I tried to do spring cleaning, but the more i force myself the more emotional i am. As times goes by i have now develop into a very temperamental person and my body seems to change into sleep mode. I overslept every morning and even during daytime i felt very sleepy. Basically, i just felt like sleeping all the time.

If only god can hear me, plss send someone to love me and i badly need to rest in arms away from all the emotional struggle. Take me out of here, let me close my eyes and sleep till my personal emotion disperse. Well that's life! Everyone have to go through the process. Is just that some are more fortunate and some are not.

                                                                  




Get Well Clip Art

My dear friend

Sometime really felt gulity for negecting my dear friend, whom had alway been by my side. Be it through rain or shine. Time really passes in a blink. He had been with us for 7 whole years, that i have been taken him for granted. In the past, he is the one who sat with me and look after me while i was pregnant with my eldest son. I can still remember clearly, he is like the brother of my son. He will follow me wherever i goes around the house and if i stays in the toilet for too long he will get anxious and scratch my door until i open the door. After he sees that i am fine, he will return to his bed and sleep. During my late pregnancy, he will keep peeping at me wherever i goes and if i wash the toilet, he will come and sit infront of me (as if he was saying stop plss and take a rest). When my eldest son was born, i was afriad that he will not like him and bite him. But i was wrong. If my son cried, he will appear anxious and run very fast to the kitchen and bark at me, then he run very fast to my son bedroom door looking at me. If i happens to be bathing and my son cried, my dear friend will came scratching my door non-stop, till i open the door he will run to my son room door again. But now he was alway lock in the kitchen to prevent him from urine all around the house. I guess! It due to aging process. While, i was clearling my cupboard i took some photo of him and those memories of him came suddenly.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL MY DEAR BLOGGER!!!

 May all of you have a blessed Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year!!!

Yesterday, i prepared some simple dishes and had a small celebration with my family. My younger sis and bro also came to our house. Couldn't buy any turkey at last mins, so i choose to bake ham.

Honey bake ham with honey mustard sauce,

Some baked potatoes cheeses and butter corn,

Chicken rice baked rice.



Well. That me simple life and simple meal.

Tuesday we went Downtown east for a break. Look my dd enjoying himself.

He was surrounded by balls, which is his most happiest moment. Oops that was my hand.

Dancing with the balls..

 

 

He fell asleep shortly, once we reach home.